Writer's Memories, Writer's Thoughts

Due to my own workload, it has been difficult to sit down and concentrate on writing and publishing this blog.  Last week I was unable to meet with the ladies and missed seeing them and hearing what they had written.  And unfortunately it will be the same this week as life seems to intrude on my best intentions.  However, I do sense progress with the ladies in spite of my own short comings.  I see them growing and I hear them making changes to their lives.  And as they read this I trust they understand my absences and will continue with the homework assignments and their personal work on themselves.

Following are a few writing efforts that need to be shared because they are not just worthy of print and very thought provoking, but they are awesome pieces of writing.  To say the least I was blown away by the insights that they show.  I think you will think so as well.

"No one Loves Here Anymore"
    by KAI CEI
Driving down a broken highway!
Looking back on a haunted Driveway!
Tattered shingles, Broken windows!
And no one loves here Anymore!
Dirty rugs, shattered mugs!
Filthy floors, and empty jugs!
Nasty walls, Flattened balls!
And no one loves here anymore!
Shutters loose, Gaping hole in the roof!
Feel my pain, as thru it I watch the rain!
No rainbow, no pot of gold!
Cause no one loves here anymore!

"No room in the END"
   by KAI CEI
How can you be so cold?
So mean, surley and brazenly bold!
How do you do it?
I mean suck me right in?
How do I end up with the worst pick of men?
You start off so pleasant, so smooth,
But in the end, so rancid, so rude.
Is it something I said or did
Or OH! I know, other women have put in their bid.
How do you expect me to stay in my womenly place?
When you keep holding auditions for my space.
In your heart I'm supposed to be!
But I see now It's not big enuff for
little ole' me!

"For Myself, For My Soul"
   by KC
Blue eyes
Hands clenched in fists
A smile on your lips
you say you love me
that I am your world
yet the floor shakes
when, you're in a rage
scream and pound the walls with your fists
Why?
5 minutes ago you say sweet words
But now I'm stupid
I'm lazy
I'm every negative word you can throw at me
Words so sharp they stab like a dozen knives
Piercing my heart
Making me question my worth
But now it's a new day
I left your worthless piece of crap back in Florida.
This is for me
Reclaiming my birthright as a Queen
Kicking your a--off of the throne in my life
Nothing and No one is going to keep me down!!
Victim NO More!!
I am a survivor and a thriver!!!

"PTSD"
  By KC
PTSD....four letters that strike fear into me.
Physical feelings of being violated again and images,
that match the physical feelings in my head.
Panic, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Wishing, reaching, for something or someone to snap me out of it.  No where to run, breathe coming
in shallow gasps.  Feels like an elephant sitting on my chest.  Physicl feelings slowly subsides, but still the anziety and terror reside.
The more I fight the worse it gets...but how do I just let my body feel what my mind wants me to fight against?  If this was someone real trying to attack me and rape me they would be laid out on the ground but I can't fight fragments of my mind.